DEC. 13 UPDATE: Forbes, who spoke with OkCupid CEO Sam Yagan, says it’s real.
My friend and colleague Katy Anderson blasted this piece of greatness out on teh interwebs tonight: Julian Assange’s supposed OkCupid dating profile. No one yet has been able to confirm that it is in fact his, but no one’s proved it’s fake, either.
So what do we learn from Mr. Assange’s (alleged) single’s ad?
From New York Magazine:
He is straight. Well, we could have guessed this much, already.
He is 87% slutty. Okay, we could have guessed that too. People never change. Anyway, he confirms it in his “self-summary:” “Want a regular, down to earth guy? Keep moving. I am not the droid you’re looking for. Passionate and often pig headed activist intellectual seeks siren for love affair.” And in the “Test” section, he came back “87% dominating, 87% slut.” But also “Strong Democrat.” On the “I’m Really Good At” section, he wrote “A gentleman never tells.” So he’s also kind of cheesy and gross.
He likes tough, dangerous girls. “I like women from countries that have sustained political turmoil,” he wrote. “Western culture seems to forge women that are valueless and inane. OK. Not only women!”
Despite the fangirls, he gets lonely: “Although I am pretty intellectually and physically pugnacious I am very protective of women and children,” he wrote. And while he said, “I have asian teengirl stalkers,” he ceded: “I could adapt to anything except the loss of female company and carbon.” (And carbon. Ha.)
Yeah… I’m sure the the “Asian teengirls” are all over that.
A commenter at Reddit also noticed this about his pseudonym choice:
The most interesting thing is the choice of user name. When I saw it I jumped up and grabbed a book off the bookshelf. Harry Harrison is a scifi writer that was popular in the ’70s and ’80s for his Stainless Steel Rat character. The SSR was an intergalactic criminal mastermind with a conscious who was too smart to get caught. It’s been decades since I’ve read any of this stuff, but I may have to wave my current ban on fiction to reacquaint myself with the stories. I can instantly see why Assange would choose such a moniker.
“…We must be as stealthy as rats in the wainscoting of their society. It was easier in the old days, of course, and society had more rats when the rules were looser, just as old wooden buildings have more rats than concrete buildings. But there are rats in the building now as well. Now that society is all ferrocrete and stainless steel there are fewer gaps in the joints. It takes a very smart rat indeed to find these openings. Only a stainless steel rat can be at home in this environment…”
Interesting. Although I’m still caught up on his “test” results, which reveal that he is not only 87 per cent slut, but also 87 per cent sexually dominant. BLECH. Moving on: Assange’s (supposed) dating profile pics: